I don’t think that most Christians would be surprised that a the large majority of Christian men, whether married or not, and many Christian women, whether married or not, are struggling with sexual lust. Many of these men and women feel defeated, dirty, guilty, and alone.
And all of these men and women (if they have been Christians for very long at all) are familiar with Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” That’s pretty plain, right?
If Your Eye Causes You to Sin
So what should one do who struggles with lust? Well, the first step is found in Jesus’ next two sentences: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
Did Jesus mean what He said here? Absolutely Yes. That’s pretty scary, right?
But that doesn’t mean that we need to head for the power tools.
Thankfully, what Jesus is telling us in this passage isn’t really about dismemberment. What Jesus is telling us is to do whatever it takes to eliminate things that cause us to sin. Let me give some personal examples.
I like to walk when I pray and when I lived in Anaheim I one day was walking behind a Target store where the building backed up about four feet from a block wall. Just about halfway down someone had a laid a Hustler magazine on a cardboard box. Thankfully, on that day I was lusting after God so I didn’t touch it (that’s an important subject for a later post). But three things came to mind. First, someone looks at porn here. Second, I wonder how often he leaves porn here (uh oh)? Third, I’d better never walk here again. And you know what? I don’t know whether he left porn there other times because there were plenty of other places I could walk and pray. I eliminated a potential temptation. Pretty easy, right? And I still have all my faculties.
Let me bring this to present day. I don’t watch programs that I have reason to believe are going to cause me to lust. And guess what—no dismemberment involved! Now, you can watch whatever you want… unless it stumbles you. Someone may say, “But I love that program!” Well, Jesus’ principle is simple and indisputable: if a program causes you to lust, then don’t watch it.
As for the internet: I don’t surf it. Period. If I need to look something up, I ask myself one or two questions. First question: Is is possible this sight might stumble me? If the answer is No, then it’s okay to go there. If the answer is Maybe (sometimes we can’t be sure), then I ask myself the second question: Do I have a good reason for going there? Unless the answer is Yes, I have a good reason to go there, then I don’t go. No dismemberment involved. Again, I’m not saying you need to do this, but you need to do whatever it takes.
Do the premium channels stumble you? Get rid of them!
Can’t seem to control lusting over TV programs? Well, find a way to get control or get rid of your TV!
Perhaps you will need to never touch the computer unless your spouse is near. Or, perhaps never use your computer at work or home unless it is facing towards an open door and others are around. Whatever it is—do what it takes.
One single friend of mine picked up his cable box controller and set it to block every program rated over PG and then closed his eyes and typed in a password. Trouble is, he can’t even watch some sporting events because sometimes they are unrated. But, he did what it takes.
And this works for other types of lust. I have a friend who stopped reading Vogue magazine because it stumbled her (she lusted after clothes).
Deny Ourselves and Take Up Our Cross
In Matthew 16:24 where Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” When it comes to lust we must do what it takes to not lust.
What I’ve learned is we can flee those things that encourage our lusts long, long before we need to reach for the power tools.
Of course, there’s a lot more to controlling lust than what you shouldn’t lust after. I’ve learned over the years that you and I were born to lust and either we are going to lust after people, possessions, positions, and pleasures or we are going to lust after God and His kingdom. Thus Paul wrote in 2 Tim. 2:22: “Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
Let us do what it takes!
Romans 13:13-14: “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies… not in sexual immorality and sensuality…. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
I’ve written many posts on dealing with sexual temptation. Go to the bottom of this post and click the “Sex” category to see them.
Updated February 12, 2020.
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Solid stuff, Dr. Jones. Thank you.
The one-two punch of hearing you talk about Jesus this summer and now reading John MacArthur’s The Gospel According to Jesus has really knocked some sense into me. Belief gets us in the door, but authentic, saving belief is evidenced by a change in attitude, goals and intentions. We have to commit to him entirely and that means cutting away those thoughts, desires and activities that were part of our old life. O, how I am reminded of the scene in Dawn Treader when Aslan tears away the dragon scales from Eustace’s body!
Yes! We need to strangle the life out of the old man.
Dropping our television channels was one of the greatest things we’ve done. Even without considering ‘adult’ content, so, sooo much is so mind-numbingly bad there are so many more ways to be unproductive that do much less harm.
Well put.
Clay,
What I love about your post is the importance of leading a disciplined life. St. Francis of Assisi used to famously refer to his body as “Brother Ass.” Because our bodies will crave immoral pleasure means not that we should allow immoral choices to follow. This speaks to the fact that we are created to lust and it is our choice after which things we will lust. Through consisitent practice of spiritual disciplines we learn that the carnal dictates of our bodies do not control our choices, and through our disciplined choices will our character, our marriages, and our churches be shaped.
Lauren Winner, author and professor at Duke Divinity School, writes about the temptation and discipline of her married friend: “I have a happily married friend who…says that when he wants to have sex with someone other than his wife, he fasts. In remembering that he can discipline his desire for food, my friend reminds himself that he can discipline his desire for sex, too.”
I have been divorced for almost four years. Now a single dad in my 30s, singlehood today is different than I remember it to be in my twenties. The lustful temptations I face today are equally powerful and alluring as those of years past, while my actions today greatly contrast those of my immature youth. I don’t watch TV. Sure, there are a few shows that are entertaining and funny, but moreover I find much of today’s programming repelling. Call me crazy.
Trying the best I can to stay pure as a single man, I stay disciplined. The close friends I have are discpilined – spritually disciplined. The books I read, most of them, are filled with notes of varying verses of the same song, discipline. Which brings me back to Ms. Winner and her eloquent treatise on sex, purity and life invested in seeking Christ, “Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity.” She puts it so well here:
“Of course, the desire for sex is normal and natural, but many spiritual disciplines — the so-called disciplines of absitence — center on refraining from something normal. One who keeps vigil is abstaining from sleeip in order to abide with God; one who fasts is abstaining from food in order to see that one is truly hungry for God; one who spends wime alone forgoes the company of others in order to deepen a conversation with God, one who practices simplicity avoids luxury in order to attend more clearly to God. And the unmarried Christian who practices chastity refrains from sex in order to remember that God desires your person, your body, more than any man or woman ever will.”