Is Masturbation a Sin?

In the last six weeks a young man asked me, “What do I do about feeling really ashamed?” A young woman asked, “What do you do if you feel really sinful?” Then I got an email from a student saying that he had been looking at some stuff that was “wicked” on the Internet. Then, this morning, I received a note from a fellow who wrote: “I wonder at times if God forgives me still. I don’t want to take advantage of his mercy. I feel very bad. After I sin I either run from God or run to God as in reading the Bible. But then I call myself a hypocrite. I’m emailing you because I need help, I question my relationship with God, and I want to stop.” Although, they seldom use the words (sometimes they do), what really bothers them is that they can’t seem to stop masturbating. But, is masturbation a sin?

Statistics

Statistically speaking (yes, I’ve looked up the stats and no I don’t intend to footnote them), a large majority of men masturbate. Even a majority of married men masturbate. Although not a majority in either case, many women masturbate as do many married women. By the way, that married men and married women might masturbate tends to freak out the unmarried: “Why would they need to?!” I’ll talk more about that later. Anyway, that so many people masturbate is helpful to know because many Christians wonder if it is only they. As Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 13:10: “There is no temptation taken you but such as is common to man.” So, if this is a struggle for you—take heart—there aren’t enough stadium seats in the world to hold all the Christians who struggle with it.

Sin?

People ask if masturbation is a sin. The answer is complex. The reason it’s complex is the Bible doesn’t mention masturbation whatsoever. Consider that the Lord could, if He so desired, make it very clear that masturbation is a sin. After all, the Old Testament talks openly about menstruation and nocturnal emissions. But on this topic, on something so prevalent among humankind, Scripture is silent. It is true that some have tried to apply various verses in an effort to make sure everyone thinks it’s a sin but the verses are yanked out of context. I’ll give one example. Many have called masturbation “Onanism” after Onan in Genesis 38 who pulled out of his wife Tamar and spilled his sperm on the ground so he wouldn’t give her a child (he didn’t want to split up his inheritance). That’s not masturbation—it’s a birth control technique (and not a very good one). Anyway, when the Bible is silent on an issue, we shouldn’t be making up our own rules either way. This is commonly a gray area.

Lust

That being said, there are other principles that come into play: like lust! Masturbation may not be specifically condemned in Scripture but lust is clearly condemned. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Does that settle it? No. Christians ask if it is okay to masturbate if they don’t lust. For example, when I spoke to our undergrads on sexual temptation, a girl asked, “If a husband was in the military, could he and his wife masturbate while they were talking to each other on the phone?” Ummm… I suspect that most Christians wouldn’t think that wrong. And if that’s not wrong, let me apply a reductio ad absurdum (reduction to absurdity)  what if, just before they did the deed, their connection was lost and they went ahead and masturbated anyway only thinking of each other–would that be sinful?

Clear Conscience?

That would depend on another principle: keeping a clear conscience. We must always keep a clear conscience. Paul told Timothy to hold “on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith” (1 Timothy 1:19). So, even though the Bible doesn’t specifically condemn masturbation, if your conscience isn’t clear about it, then you shouldn’t do it anyway. But, as with every gray issue, if the Bible is silent about a particular act, and no other sin is involved with it, and one’s conscience is clear about it, then it wouldn’t be a sin for that person.

One young woman blogged that it would be impossible to masturbate without lusting. Makes me smile. How would she know that? One young man proclaimed to a seminar I was teaching that no one could keep a clear conscience and masturbate. Again I smile (but not at the time because I didn’t want to embarrass him).

Masturbation and Marriage?

But there is one last thing to consider. If a person is married, masturbation could become a substitute for a sexual relationship with that person’s spouse—and that’s bad. Married people should be having sex with each other! As I mentioned above, those who haven’t married are shocked that masturbation could even be an issue for someone who has an available sexual outlet. Well, there’s a problem that relates to sex between married couples that a lot of not-yet-married people haven’t considered. Namely, often married people aren’t getting along with each other and if they aren’t getting along, then sex just isn’t something they are going to want to do with each other. Thus, many married people often choose solo sex. Of course, that’s hurtful to the marriage because, frankly, they need to be motivated to work out their differences and the desire for sex can be a great motivator. Married people need to learn to settle their differences, forgive each other, romance each other, and then enjoy each other. Solo sex is a sign that something needs to be fixed in the relationship.

Thus I am neither condemning nor condoning masturbation. Why? Because Scripture is silent. Because Scripture is silent–and the Lord could have easily have made it not silent!–I’m often amazed at how many people feel the need to inform everyone that they think it is not just a sin for them but a sin for everyone else (I’m not going to name names). It’s sort of “I know it’s wrong for me so I need to let the world know that it’s wrong for them. Their argument typically runs like this:

Sex is sin except between one man and one woman in monogamous relationship.
Masturbation is sex.
Therefore, masturbation is sin.

Notice, however, that those arguing that masturbation is always a sin have defined masturbation as sex and therefore sinful. This is circular reasoning and this notion is unsupportable in the Old Testament. In Deuteronomy 23:10-11 it says: “If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there. But as evening approaches he is to wash himself, and at sunset he may return to the camp.” Okay, you say, but that’s a “wet dream” and no one has control over that.” Well, then consider Leviticus 15:16: “When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening.” Notice that this doesn’t say “nocturnal emission” as it does in Deuteronomy 23. The Lord could easily have said that but He didn’t. It would be news to me if men accidentally have “an emission of semen” during hours when they are awake. Then, in the next verse (Lev. 15:17) the Lord says, “When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.” So, in v. 16 it just says “emission of semen” but then in v. 17 it says, “emission of semen” as a result of having “sexual relations with a woman.” Jacob Milgrom in his commentary, Leviticus, writes the following about Leviticus 15:16-18: 

Why is masturbation—the willful spilling of seed—not proscribed? First, we must recognize that the ancients did not condemn masturbation. What Hippocrates considered harmful is not masturbation, but excessive expenditure of semen. In Israel, moreover, the spilling of seed, by itself, is not the issue. As illustrated by the story of Onan, sin occurs if seed is deliberately spilled during coitus (Gen 38:9-10). Indeed, all the cases cited in our chapter refer to illicit intercourse. But the ejaculation of semen results in only a one-day impurity that requires laundering and bathing (Lev 15:16-18), regardless of whether the act takes place during legitimate intercourse, or by the self, deliberately (masturbation) or accidentally (nocturnal emission).

So, again, I’m not condemning nor condoning masturbation. What I absolutely contend is that Christians really must focus on is controlling their lusts which Scriptures unambiguously commands. A lot of Christians are allowing themselves to lust, a lot, on and off, all day, every day, and they don’t really feel that bad about the fact that they are lusting until it results in lust filled masturbation. Then, when they masturbate, they feel like lustful failures. But they should have been feeling like lustful failures long before they actually masturbated. In other words, the real problem is lust but Christians often don’t take the fact that they are lusting as seriously as they should until they masturbate. Masturbation won’t be an issue once you get control of your lusts and I’m talking about that next.

1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Updated December 7, 2021.